The Professor Peregrine Papers

For many years the Professor has enjoyed the pastime of riding the derny bike in order to pace struggling amateur cyclists in pursuit of their keirin racing dreams. Lately, however, he has expanded this hobby into new areas in an attempt, as he puts it, to “uncover profound consequences and increase the chances of being offered girdle scones”.  On a recent visit to The Tytherton Lucas University and Sandpaper Repository, I was greatly cheered to witness the Professor heading across a somewhat neglected meadow pursued by Professors Nippitatum and Spong as they debated an obscure aspect of the ‘pataphysics of 'pataphysical modes.  I cannot recall witnessing a more heartwarming and inspiring sight in recent times.  Well, possibly apart from Mr Norman ‘Nongermane’ Griffonage playing his celebrated forward defensive stroke for several, uneventful hours on the cricket green at Muchlarnick on a fine summer day and thus allowing the visiting team an entirely inconsequential draw....

Following several unsuccessful attempts to explain the details of the Duckworth–Lewis–Stern method, the Professor demonstrated a typical scenario in his lab.  I hastily copied it down on the back of a discarded envelope.  I think I can confidently state that this experiment finally makes everything completely clear.