The Professor Restores the Painting Machine
You may well have heard of the Parisian Painting Machine, constructed in an attempt to relieve the “Grande pénurie d'art” in the 1890s. (This was, history leads us to believe, an entirely imaginary painting shortage invented by M. Tartempion, who found he had in his possession a gargantuan surplus of canvas to sell). As luck would have it, while the Professor was undertaking a field trip to aid his research into the pataphysical implications of white holes, he came across what he believed to be the derelict remains of that very machine in a barn just outside Purse Caundle. After many months of restoration work and not inconsiderable piles of cash, I'm pleased to say that the machine has recently produced a particularly unpleasant cup of espresso and the following “fine art” rendering of a bucolic landscape complete with waterfall. M. Tartempion would have been so proud of this spectacular success.