The Professor Peregrine Papers

It is indeed rare for the Professor to become reticent on any subject of academic interest, but he has asked me to make it clear to all interested parties that, following his lecture series given at Lanspresado College in Stretton Grandison, he has nothing more to add concerning the Banbury Egg Incident. He has asked me to stress that there is no point in offering very substantial cash fees in plain, manilla envelopes (sterling or euros), or cases of the finest Armagnac (aged for at least 20 years) or even Test Match tickets (preferably at Lords) to make him change his mind.  Although, being a man of honour, he is willing to listen to such foolish offers purely in a spirit of politeness.

As I have previously implied , the Professor is the world's leading authority on the cycling tour that the eminent author and madeleine enthusiast Marcel Proust undertook in the county of Norfolk. In the course of a peer review of the Professor's recent paper on the subject (‘An analysis and critique of the Burnham Overy Staithe off-break bowling technique in volume three of “À La Recherche du Temps Perdu”’) a number of scoundrels masquerading as eminent academics or members of the MCC have questioned the reliability of evidence relating to this pedal-based activity. The Professor would never sink low enough to enter into discussion on this point but, on his behalf, I offer a picture taken from the North Creake Gazette. It purports to show Proust playing cards with 2 Merchant Bankers, a Passing Sailor and a Marchioness just outside of Mundesley. I rest my case.  Actually, I rarely carry a case for fear that I may forget where I rested it.

The Professor's reputation as a connoisseur of fine food is entirely justified and recently it was my privilege to accompany this refined gourmet to a delightful lunch at one of his favourite restaurants - Starvin' Stu's Snack Bar, located on the edge of the Wilmot's Pool Academicals' training ground. We feasted on a panoply of unfamiliar and enticing dishes as the waiter played selections from the works of Erik Satie on a xylophone.  The Professor graciously insisted that I should pay the grossly inflated bill. Truly, a red letter day. 

As he sipped his glass of Madeira, the professor entertained us with the tale of his attempt some years ago to break the world record for staring at chickens.