The Professor Peregrine Papers

Professor Withington Marsh has for many years been a trusted colleague and intellectual sparring partner of Professor Peregrine. To this day, Marsh is a strong advocate for the concept of the collective unconscious and believes that recognition of archetypes may hold the key to a truly fulfilled existence. (“He's so Jung, at heart,” the Professor likes to joke at dispiritingly frequent intervals).  Central to Marsh's current research is the belief that taking an opportunity to relate ancient, familiar and resonant tales in a leisurely manner will provide a new understanding of their importance, lead to a more satisfying “inner life” and present clues to the probable winner of the Grand National and other noteworthy horse races. I admit to a degree of scepticism but, one wet afternoon last summer, the Professor and I agreed to join Marsh in an attempt to validate this theory. 1 - We commenced by recounting the well-known, simple tale of the gardener and the crab. I confess that...

Despite his instinctively optimistic view on meteorology and his strong desire to witness a full day's play at the Cocklawburn Beach Cricket Club and Campanology Academy, the Professor was forced to admit that the weather conditions did not look propitious.

The sea was calm. The light gleamed and was gone. So beautiful. "If you even mention Sophocles, it'll be a melancholy, long night for you on this darkling plain," she said. We went for fish and chips instead. 

For nebulous reasons, the Professor has been investigating the strange disappearance in 1922 of Puthery Quiddle, then Reader in Paradoxical Physics and Hat Manipulation at West Flotmanby Academy. Shortly after the publication of his infamous paper “Unexplained Disappearances and their Relation to Airships and Tethered Balloons” (Swinithwaite Press, 1921), Quiddle himself inexplicably vanished. Recently, following a particularly lengthy lunch, the Professor indicated that I should follow him into his crumbling garden shed. After locking the door behind us and checking for listening devices with what appeared to be a divining rod, he whispered to me in hushed and questionably portentous tones: “It cannot be a coincidence that Quiddle was seen in earnest discussion with Hanson "Sammy" Carter in a public house close to the Oval during the tour of the Australian Test Team in 1921. It is my belief that Quiddle was spirited away amongst the large collection of kit bags that our Sout...

I'm sure that many of you will be very familiar with the long-running “Spot The Emeritus Professor” competition in that admirable magazine "The Church Pulverbatch Academic and String Winders Gazette". I recently had a near miss with my entry pointing out Percy Woofits, Emeritus Professor of Applied Numismatic and Thumb Pianos at  Middleton Baggot University.  I ventured to show my entry to Professor Peregrine, who laughed so hard at my schoolboy error that he missed an entire over of questionable leg spin in the match we were watching.  “My dear chap, that figure is clearly Archibald Pooley-Wavering, Emeritus Professor of Theoretical Numismatics and Ocarinas at Lower Netchwood College.”  Of course, he was right and the prize of a month's supply of Osborne biscuits was awarded elsewhere.

The Professor's tandem was once again seen floating above us for no obvious reason.

This was a day of uncertain weather.  We drank tea in a reflective manner.