The Professor Peregrine Papers

Not for the first time, our discussions have inadvertently led to the summoning of the Overlord of the Birds. Fortunately, these visitations do not last long but, in the meantime, we need to put up with him. However, let me put your mind at rest: he's always peaceful and respectful, despite having the changeable head of a bird, and he has a wealth of improbable anecdotes, a heartfelt love of cricket and an admirable distrust of politicians. Admittedly, he's also excessively fond of practical jokes, is slightly too obsessed with dancing and is prone to stealing food from your plate when you're not looking. Incidentally, ChopChop is a name that he refuses to acknowledge but, I think, secretly enjoys. ChopChop's appearances follow a broadly predictable course and began this time with him meeting up with old friends, including Max the cat. (The Professor has on occasion offered the opinion that the cat may be "pulling the strings". The occasion in question is usua...

On a recent road trip in his reliable, old Citroën Deux Chevaux, the Professor was keen to show me Meldrop Hall where, many long years ago, he remembered meeting the celebrated scholar and renowned tasseographist Lord Smither Conjubilant, Baron of ‘Somewhere Just Outside Hamnish Clifford’.  At that time the Professor was researching the role of pace-eggers in the development of both early forms of British tasseography and left-arm orthodox spin bowling. He began his tale thus: “I was welcomed at the door by a curious footman with undeserved deference and a cup of rapidly-cooling silver needle tea. After climbing the interminable stone staircase, I came across the Baron ensconced in a bartizan with a local artisan. As I recall he was busily arranging gewgaws on a rickety shelf.” Sadly, as we approached the hall in the Professor's vintage Bentley, it was clear that the house was now in ruins. We continued forward on foot through the abandoned gardens to the front of house where the P...