The Professor Peregrine Papers

Knowing that his time here was coming to an end, ChopChop began to spend more and more time sitting halfway down the stairs, remembering.  But, in order to chronicle his recent exploits, he found the time to summon the sonnet committee. Finally, ChopChop acknowledged his friends and supporters as he set out on his farewell journey across the Lake of Inertia. This lake is usually hidden by a great fog of doubt and is only visible on alternate Tuesdays in November. Thankfully, he's gone (at least, for now), but whenever I stick my fingers into glue, I find I miss his feathery face and I must admit that his 106 not out for Greenbooth against Little Raveley proved conclusive on that glorious summer day.

ChopChop has an intensely irritating propensity for somewhat cryptic practical jokes and, as his sojourn in this version of reality dragged on, he began to indulge in this pastime. The first report I received was from The Ashby Puerorum Ghost Museum, where an unaccredited, seagull guide had been causing considerable disquiet and turmoil among the visitors and exhibits with his specious attempts to explain quantum theory and his unauthorised cocktail mixology. (Incidentally, I've always been a little disappointed by the gift shop here and can only award it 2 out of 5 stars).  By the time I arrived at the museum, ChopChop had disappeared, of course. Shortly thereafter I received a call from Lord Acnestis, owner of the Victorian country house Lickpenny Hall. It seems that, after summoning a number of guests in mysterious circumstances, ChopChop had arrived during dinner in the guise of Inspector Toucan and solemnly declared that there had been no murder or crime of any kind, that the ...