The Professor Peregrine Papers

Recently, the Professor and I attended the ‘Six Cricketers In Search Of An Umpire’ event at Willingham St Mary. The result of the match was most unexpected, in particular:  Sophrotatos (The Armenian) c. R. Queneau b. S. Stylites 23 I decided to seek the Professor's opinion on a pet theory of mine: “Queneau provides us with a convincing narrative as he fields at first slip but, I fear, he is overly concerned with the conspicuous plenitude of options available,” I suggested. The Professor considered this before replying thus: “I believe it's said that the laudable FJ Durston (of blessed memory) ventured a similar opinion in the bar during a Test Match at Lords. However, everyone present feared that such a filipendulous and acroamatic assertion could be the cause of notable fashery and so it went no further. Although, just last week I did greatly enjoy rereading Long Jack's article in the Extra Cover Almanac in which he discussed, in a far less contentious manner, Mr T...

Some years ago, you may have come across the Professor's paper titled “The Quasi-Quantum Implications of Divarication Patterns in Incipient Coherence Interactions”. This paper became famous, perhaps even notorious, in academic circles at the time, since almost everyone found it incomprehensible. The Professor attempted to explain his theory in a series of lectures where he made innovative use of puppets to demonstrate the more abstract points. They were entirely unsuccessful, partly due to chaotic puppet string entanglement. What is less known, though, is that the Professor attempted to encapsulate his core theory by using the complex metaphor of surprising and unlikely events in a recognisable context. To this end he produced the pilot episode of a sitcom set in 1959 entitled “Whoops! Here Comes The Vicar” in which Beryl and Stan try to live their traditional, comfortable lives with hilarious but enlightening consequences. However, the Professor abandoned the project before it was...