Great Uncle Quidnunc's Machine
To further my understanding of the Professor's baffling family tree, I sent him a note enquiring about the life of his Great Uncle Quidnunc. The Professor's reply arrived the following day together with a half-eaten Eccles cake. I present that reply in full together with a facsimile of Quidnunc's original design drawing:
"Great Uncle Quidnunc avoided almost everyone, including me, for most of his life, except when he understood that there might be a little spare cash on offer. He preferred to live a scholarly life. In his will, however, he was generous to a fault and I inherited the only completed example of his Inverted Solleret Pantomorphic Machine. The paper he authored concerning the theory of this device was described by an anonymous academic and quodlibetarian as 'The grand piano of theoretical physics but without the pedals and the bit that holds up the lid.'
The gift was accompanied by a simple note, written in large, capital letters:
'WHEN NEAR THE MACHINE AVOID IRRITATING, TUNELESS WHISTLING AND, WHATEVER YOU DO, NEVER TURN THE HANDLE!!!'
Of course, I have carried out his instructions to the letter and always refrained from turning the handle. But I admire this remarkable device on a daily basis, usually around 3:15 in the afternoon. Fortunately, I do not have whistling licence."
Comments
Post a Comment