As a young man the professor found that his two interests, the works of Guillaume de Machaut and the solar neutrino problem, meant that friends were few and far between. In an attempt to fit in, he decided to take up a more popular hobby. His new pastime of pointing at rivers soon earned him many admiring glances.
Recently, as we perused, with much admiration, Ezra Gloppened's recent publication "Goo! : Butter Churns and their Role in the Peasants' Revolt", I ventured to ask if the Professor had ever considered an alternative career. "I haven't always been attracted to the academic life," the Professor admitted. "Many years ago, I did spend some time on the road with my band The Inadequate Zarf. Ah, happy days! Except for the less happy days, which, come to think of it, was most of them." I was unsure about the veracity of this statement until I chanced upon a copy of The Inadequate Zarf’s classic album "Physalis In My Pocket" in a bric-a-brac sale at the Sandford Spence Schultz Home for Fractious Umpires. My favourite track is, without doubt, "Ruckus In The Olfaction Department", featuring the Professor's solo on bass harmonica, an instrument of which he has little or no knowledge.
It is indeed rare for the Professor to become reticent on any subject of academic interest, but he has asked me to make it clear to all interested parties that, following his lecture series given at Lanspresado College in Stretton Grandison, he has nothing more to add concerning the Banbury Egg Incident. He has asked me to stress that there is no point in offering very substantial cash fees in plain, manilla envelopes (sterling or euros), or cases of the finest Armagnac (aged for at least 20 years) or even Test Match tickets (preferably at Lords) to make him change his mind. Although, being a man of honour, he is willing to listen to such foolish offers purely in a spirit of politeness.
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