The Peregrine Family History - Great Uncle Purlicue

I had been pressing the Professor to reveal more of the details of his questionable family history with patchy results. Eventually he pulled a faded photograph from a dog-eared copy of Wisden (circa 1949, I believe) and began to tell a sad tale: 

“Let me tell you about Great Uncle Purlicue. His notable skill was to entice an audience to a remote, bucolic location on the pretext of delivering a speech of national importance or distributing free tickets to a Minor Counties match with associated hog roast before unexpectedly removing his hat and delivering a heartfelt rendition of ‘Who Were You With Last Night?’.”

The Professor stared wistfully from the window overlooking his fine display of prize dahlias, statuettes of first-class umpires signalling wides and enamel buckets before going on in subdued tones: 

“Sadly, Great Uncle Purlicue was so successful at gathering a crowd that he was accidentally elected to various positions of dubious authority. This proved to be his undoing. He began to find himself so tedious and soporific that he deemed it necessary to join an itinerant band of contemplative leg spinners and jugglers. He retreated to live in a cave somewhere just outside Sutton upon Tern. 

For all I know he may still be there, thinking deeply and catching random objects thrown into the air. It's a great loss to the world because, apparently, he was absolutely the worst singer this fine country has ever produced.”